Sometimes I worry about
myself. I think of great things to do,
make plans to go out and meet new people, just get out of the house… and then I
don’t. I have to convince myself to do
everything I do. Sometimes it’s hard to
go to the grocery store, and it’s been more than once that I have managed to
patch together a meal to avoid going. It’s
not that I don’t want to, it’s just that when it is time to do it I just… I don’t
know how to describe it… but I just can’t. It can be hard enough at times to do with
people I know and love, but to go out and face people I don’t know, well I’m
good at excuses.
I know once I go that I’ll have fun
and be glad I did, but that is not always enough. It’s not that I’m anti-social… I think. I don’t dislike people as a rule. I can get along with almost anybody, even if
I really don’t like them. I can even
have fun around people I don’t like. I’m
not sure what it is that makes me into such a homebody; at times it just frustrates
me to no end.
Tonight was one of those nights that I almost backed out
of. I was working up excuses not to go,
but I couldn’t disappoint a friend, especially when my truck was parked right
in front of her house while I was at work.
She was having a “Belmont Party”.
She put together some hors d'oeuvres for the event and had invited
everyone at work. I realized I had to go
or I’d hurt her feelings. I didn’t think
anyone else was going.
Well, I was right, almost. No one at work was planning to go. Later she did finally get one person. It turns out she had more people coming. Had I known, I’d have had excuse enough to
convince myself not to go. I’m so glad I
didn’t.
The race was a great disappointment. Once again, we’ve failed to get a Triple
Crown winner. We were all crushed as
California Chrome not only didn’t win, but wasn’t even a real contender at
fifth place. You could see he just didn’t
have it today in the backstretch if you were looking close enough. There are a lot of speculations, but once
again, we weren’t meant to have a Triple Crown winner. That was okay though, because it was a great
time.
The wine flowed freely. I was so glad that I only had 100 yards on a
dirt road to get to my half mile driveway.
We drank, ate, and were merry. We
discussed many things, I had that fuzzy drunk head going on, and I was far from
the most inebriated person there. It was
a wonderful time with some wonderful ladies and I am so glad I made myself
go. I can’t help but wonder what the
next great adventure I’m going to convince myself to go on will be. Maybe next I’ll make it somewhere that I can
meet people I don’t work with.
