What a Productive Day!

            Finally!  A productive day!  I feel like I’ve been spinning my wheels for such a long time, it is nice to feel as though I have accomplished something.  Actually, I accomplished a lot today, something I haven’t been able to say for some time.  My office is still a mess, my room is a tripping ground, and I’ve only managed to pack two boxes for the day, yet, this has been one of my most productive days in a long time.

            I made it to work, which was a big deal this morning.  Poor Gizmo had a belly ache or something last night and threw up twice; one of those times was on my bed.  Yuck!  For those who know me, needless to say, I was joining him by the time I got things cleaned up, twice.  Again, Yuck!  I wasn’t firing on all eight cylinders this morning.  Classes went well though, I think the instructor in training I am mentoring got something out of what we were doing, at least she said so.  I also gave my name, number, and e-mail address to a lady who has connections for being an extra in movies, primarily westerns!  Awesome!

            Got the chain saw running without any trouble, although I didn’t get things cleared for the delivery guy as well as I would have liked.  My refrigerator was delivered, I was able to visit with the awesome people I work with and then I even came home despite my greatest reservations.  Yes, I had reservations… okay; I plain didn’t want to come home.  I knew what was ahead of me. 

            I found floor, and lots of it.  It is amazing how much trash an eight year old can generate.  She had help, yes, much more than she should have, but that kid can generate some trash.  It only took me about three hours, but I nearly filled a box with some of her things and filled one of those big 55 gallon contractor trash bags half way.  You can also safely walk through the den and the hallway between the den and kitchen.  Boy do I have a lot of laundry to catch up on. 

           Tomorrow, I’m going to attack BA’s toy area.  If all goes well, it will all be packed up and ready to go.  One week until the yard sale and two until we move.  It’s time to get the show on the road.  Wish me luck, and I think God would probably be okay with me asking for a few prayers for this one.  J  God Bless and have a happy Sunday, I expect I will.

I Walked

Today was graduation.  It’s official; I walked the stage to receive my diploma, be hooded, and received my honor cord for Magna Cum Laude.  I had many friends walked the stage as well.  The speakers at both the Baccalaureate and the Commencement ceremony were great.  It was as though they were speaking directly to me; their messages were so in line with where my life is right now.  I was truly amazed, and it is now sinking in that they were signs for me, signs to reassure me that I am doing what God wants me to do right now.  I feel so humbled.

This will make more sense if I explain a bit about my philosophy of life.  I’ve followed this philosophy for as long as I can remember.  I have free will, and I can do whatever I want to do, but things will go a lot easier if I follow the path the Lord has set out for me.  When a door is opened, I need to pay attention and go through it while it is there, if not, the path is likely to get pretty rocky.  I know this, because I’ve travelled that rocky road a couple of times.  I’ve learned to watch for, listen to, and understand the signs that are sent my way.  Life is a journey in which I travel through, and each experience I have had prepares me in some way for the next one to come.  The path I am to follow isn’t always easy, and during those times I get extra support.  God has a purpose for me, this I know, but I also know I will probably never truly understand what it is, not while I dwell here on earth anyway.

Last Sunday, I went to church with my parents at a little Methodist church in Medina.  The preacher was talking about death.  He asked us if we knew how long we had on the earth.  I knew the answer to that, but I didn’t tell him.  Learning that answer is part of everyone’s journey through life, at least that is what I believe.  We can be told by people, and I’m sure my philosophy is not new or unique, but I do think that we have to learn it not just in our heads, but also in our hearts and souls.  I’ll be here on this earth until I’ve fulfilled the role God has set out for me.  I have no idea when that time will be up, nor do I really care, I just suspect it’s a ways away.  Even still, I work to make sure my soul is ready any day, that’s just the way I am I guess. 

Yet, today I walked; I walked the stage for graduation.  A chapter of my life’s story has ended, or perhaps I should be saying my next journey has begun.  When I’m done, God will let me know, I only have to listen and pay attention.

The next chapter of my life starts kind of like this…

Recently graduated from College the single mom of two, has just moved into a little place in the country. Her oldest daughter graduated from high school yesterday and is already embarking on a life of her own, her youngest daughter is still in elementary school.  She has this truly awesome job, but it is part time.  She will have to struggle to get by until she can work full time again, but it will all be alright, she has her best friend right next to her, by her side.  She’s walking hand in hand with Jesus Christ as she embarks on this latest journey in her life.  

Just not too sure how I feel about this

The girls had this incredible opportunity, a chance to go to a lecture given by a New York talent scout.  So, I took them.  That’s what you do isn’t it?  When your kids enjoy performing arts, you bring them to the agent to learn something.  It hadn’t even occurred to me how stupid and insane this was until it was all over with.  Why on earth would I bring my kids to one of these talent scouts to be looked over like a yearling at a Thoroughbred sale?  I didn’t think, as usual, I just did it.

I certainly did not expect this to be a life changing event or anything other than something to do with the girls that they might like.  The guy was good.  There wasn’t a single thing he told the kids that couldn’t be applied to life in general.  By the time he was done with the lecture, I was hoping one of the girls would be chosen so that I’d have a chance to get all smooshy and pick his brain.  That opportunity of course did not happen, but here is what did happen, an incredible dialog with my first baby girl.  I should have recorded it so I could give you a blow by blow account of the conversation; instead I’ll just have to give you the Reader’s Digest condensed version.

I found out why my incredibly creative and talented daughter decided to go into medicine, something I thought was a complete waste, and yes, I’m the parent that tells their kid ‘what do you mean you want to go into medicine?  Wouldn’t you rather get a degree in … (usually some form of artsy liberal arts concentration)?’  Talk about getting excited!  My first baby girl wants to pursue theatre again!  How great is that?  I am so excited I can burst!  This is some of the best news I’ve heard in years, and I’ve heard a lot of good news lately.

So, you are now probably wondering, (I know I would be) why I have such mixed feelings about this.  It is the why she dropped interest in her passion.  I wasn’t aware that people were telling her she was no good.  I’m not as upset with those naysayers as I am with myself.  How can I call myself even a mediocre parent if I was completely unaware this was happening?  As this great youth talent scout was speaking, I was feeling guilty and inattentive as a parent as thoughts about my second baby girl were going through my mind.  The guy had five never fail rules to being successful in the performing arts industry.  The first one was “Practice being aware of your feelings- especially how you feel about yourself” (Sklar).  This one piece of advice is invaluable in any part of life, and last night I began to question how well I have facilitated this application in my children’s lives.

Yes, I’m torn after this talk last night; I’m feeling like a terrible parent.  I’m also feeling incredibly enlightened and blessed for this opportunity to recognize and then stare my faults in the face, so that I can regroup, reassess, and make some changes.  Thanks Pdawg.