Having Faith

Three days and a wakeup and then it’s Christmas.  Holy cow it’s climbing up fast!  Just two more days and we get to start on Christmas Eve.  I think it is more fun than Christmas day for me.  To start, Christmas Eve Masses are always magical.  Then there are the cookies out for Santa, tucking the girls all snug in their beds, waiting for Santa ;-).  It is a night of Faith, belief, and true wonder.

          The other night we watched the movie Prancer.  I’d never seen it before, and there was one scene that touched me to my soul.  The little heroin of the tale was Motherless; we didn’t hear how Mom had passed away except one little part about Doctors that lie.  Her friend informed the little girl she no longer believed in Santa.  The friend’s reasoning was based on she had never seen Santa.  The little star replied “but you’ve never seen God…”  The little girl was crushed when her friend said she wasn’t sure she believed in him either.  You see, without God, there is no heaven. 

          I get really frustrated with the materialization of Christmas and I’ve never tried to hide it.  I also get frustrated when people don’t want to allow the spirit of Santa Clause to go on.  You see, I’m like the little girl in Prancer, if you don’t believe in things, how can you believe in heaven?  Santa gives us a chance to teach our children a bit about faith, and the importance of being good and giving.  Santa himself started out as a Saint, Saint Nickolas.  He is as much a part of the season as Christ, because he is all about giving and love and doing for those much less fortunate than himself.  Unfortunately, too many folks have found a way to commercialize good old Saint Nick, but that doesn’t mean that he is to blame. 

          I’m all for faith and believing, and I am thrilled to be able to share the belief in Santa Clause with my daughters, because as far as I’m concerned he is real, just as real as our Christ, Jesus.  Santa is within us all, and despite the excessive commercialization, he still encourages the gift of giving.  What do you believe?

Ready or not, here comes Christms

Christmas is upon us, just a few more days.  Oh my how the time flies.  Let’s see, how many of my goals have been met for the Christmas break.  Okay, it’s better than I thought.  I’ve started more than I had realized and I hadn’t looked at my list until just now.  What a great list that is.  Seriously, if you are like me, when you make a list, most of the stuff is unattainable pipe dream type of stuff.  I have a pretty good list this break.  I even completed one of my items on the list although I now hate George R.R. Martin.

OK, maybe I don’t hate the guy, which just isn’t in my nature, but if any of you are reading his Fire and Ice series, be prepared to stop at A Dance With Dragons.  Not only is the next book not yet released, he refuses to give a release date.  Had I known, I’d have never started the series, not yet anyway.  I don’t like to start reading an incomplete series.  I am not patient enough to wait for the next book.  I also hate having to think back to whom everybody is and what their roles are.   Ugh!  Note to self, try not to do that if I ever become a rich and famous author.  Note I said “try”, I know I’d much rather wait a bit for the book and know that it is what the author wanted me to read, it’s just frustrating. 

A house just down the street was destroyed by fire the other night.  We heard the fire engines, and then a police cruiser was blocking the road in front of our house.  It was around 9:30 pm when I heard the first fire truck go by, I finally fell asleep as I heard the trucks leaving around 1:30 am.  It didn’t click that it would really be on our street.  I was driving back from Wal-Mart when I first saw it.  I thought it was Georgia’s friend’s house.  The house next to the gutted house had people sitting outside in lawn chairs.  It turned out they were waiting for the fire and water damage people.  Everyone, pets included got out of both houses safely.  Apparently the fire started in a dryer.  Georgia now understands why I’m a bit obsessive about the lint trap and such.

I was so glad when I found out I had gotten houses mixed up.  Georgia’s friend is the oldest of about five kids, and his Mom hasn’t been mentally stable since their Dad left.  A fire is bad enough for anybody.  A week before Christmas is worse.  I couldn’t image how that particular family could have survived it.  They may have a great support system, I don’t know, but they’d need a fantastic one.

Things to be thankful for?  Our health, a home, cloths, food, each other, God has provided well for us and for that I am ever so Grateful.  Our God is an Awesome God!

New Habits?

We had a nice evening tonight, for the most part.  Once the bickering ended, and the girls settled into the movie, it was really nice.  We watched Prancer; a sweet movie about a little girl who finds Prancer injured, restores him to health and returns his to Santa.  The movie over, little miss gets ready for bed and I get the story ready.  Did you know the first chapter of The Hobbit is 27 pages long?  Poor BA missed the last few pages, I kept thinking I should stop so she wouldn’t miss any of it but I was engrossed, and so, she did miss the last few pages of chapter one.

I’ve been ill, I hate being sick.  It started Saturday night after we finished watching Dr. Zhivago.  This evening I am finally feeling more like myself.  Two whole days lost to illness.  At least it was after finals. 

A lot has been running through my mind, but I haven’t been up and about long enough yet to catch it all and put it in one place.  I just wanted to be sure to work on this new habit I am determined to develop, this one where I blog every day.  Funny how that works, a habit we don’t want takes extreme effort to break if we ever do.  I’m still working on the nail biting habit.  Oh, I can get it licked for a month or two, but that’s about it.  I’m back onto the fake nails method.  It appears to work, but I haven’t been able to afford to keep the nails on for more than a month at a time yet.  Maybe this time and we will know for sure.   

Maybe that is what I need to do.  Maybe I need to start making habits instead of breaking them.  The next habit I intend to make is the Yoga habit.  Oh… my back and neck feel so much better when I exercise regularly, and Yoga is one of the nicest.  I need to turn dieting into a habit as well.  Not just the caloric dieting, but another form of dieting I’ve found very useful when I’m on track, Financial dieting.  Seriously, not sure how that works, but somehow when I get onto the financial diet, finances go much better. 

So, maybe that should be my New Year’s resolution this year.  Just one, make new habits, it’s definitely something to think about, and I think I will.  So, who’s up to joining me on this newly found quest of forming new habits?  Think about it, I know I will be.

Growing Up

I took the girls to see The Rise of the Guardians today.  Barbara Ann had spent the night with her friend last night, and we took Peyton with us to the movie.  We got there on time, and there were not four seats together.  My little girl has grown up so much over the last year.  Barbara and Peyton sat at the top of the theatre (where I could turn my head and see them and they would have to walk right past me to get out of the theatre) and Georgia and I sat two or three rows down.  I hated not seeing the movie with Barbara, but I was so proud of her that she could be trusted to sit with her friend without me at the movie.  Oh, and by the way the movie was great.

It’s often hard to tell if it is happening or if it is just me, seeing a child maturing.  I was thinking I’d seen it, but last night, I knew I had.  Barbara and Georgia were trying out for the Kroc center play as usual.  This time was a bit different than past times though.  Georgia was reading lines with Barbara Ann in tow; Barbara read lines in a different group all together.  No one had to redirect Barbara to what she was doing or help her read or find her lines, this time, Barbara Ann was helping the other kids.  When other children started playing marbles while others were doing their readings, Barbara Ann was able to walk away without a fuss.  My baby girl is growing up.

Both girls I thought did a fantastic job in the tryouts.  Georgia had been personally invited to the tryouts, but I don’t believe the director had expected Barbara to be as prepared for the tryouts as she was. 

There is something magical, although a bit sad as the kids grow up.  Georgia is anxiously pulling at the reins of freedom and responsibility, Barbara is becoming a reliable independent young lady.  What a blessing it is to have them both, and to be able to hug them both today.  I am so blessed.

Have you hugged your kid today?

I was sitting in the nail salon getting my nails done; catching bits and pieces of some stupid soap opera playing on the T.V. they had hanging on the wall.  There was some woman that was being accused of arson, her kids were trying to get her the legal help she needed because she was bi-polar, and she was all better now that she was on her meds again. Soap operas, news shows, there isn’t a huge distinction between the two for me.  As far as I’m concerned they are both a sensationalisation of the baser parts of our society.  So, when the news interrupted the program, I didn’t catch it right away.

There was a mass shooting, or not.  I was confused.  The numbers didn’t make any sense.  How could the hospital have only seen two people and they’re claiming twenty something people dead?  It was bad, yes; it was in an elementary school. It didn’t matter how many where dead when the school was K-4.  It was a sensationalisation because it was at an elementary school, it had to be.  Then, the story started to unfold.  The shooter was between 18 and 20, then he was 26, then he was identified, next his brother and girlfriend were missing.  He had killed his mom at the school and his dad was dead at home.  Eight O’clock I catch CNN and FOX news with their respective spin jockeys leading the discussion.  The shooter was 20.  20 of the 28 killed were children.  The shooter’s dad and brother were brought in for questioning.  The Mother had been shot and killed in her home.  I heard the word Asperger’s.

One news show says all mass murderers are sociopaths and should not be walking the streets ever, the other calls for gun control from one expert and an end to the failure of our mental health system from the other.  Earlier on Facebook the petty politics were kicking in and people were calling our president a fake with fake tears, others were devastated that anyone would give a crap about the politics at a time like this, especially name calling.  I was delighted to see both news channels state the true and obvious fact that our president, like every other American parent is bewildered, wondering how such a thing could happen. 

This isn’t the first school shooting in America.  It isn’t the first mass shooting.  When people were chewing on the facts of the Joker shooting in Colorado, people were horrified to hear children had been at the theater at such a time, as though it was the parent’s fault their children had been at risk.  That was because this isn’t supposed to happen to young children.  This was a way to pretend there isn’t anybody so sick as to randomly attack children.  The high school and university shootings, someone had felt shunned, blocked out, and or picked on.  Those shootings could at least be explained as retaliatory.  Jared Loughner’s history of creeping people out was immediately presented and the children hurt or killed were collateral damage, he wasn’t going after them.  That makes more sense.  No one is going to go specifically after children.  That would be sick.

As a nation today, we are struggling to understand why such a thing could happen.  What was this guy’s motive?  How could he do this to children, their parents, grandparents, siblings, classmates, neighbors, the nation…  What could cause such a senseless slaughter?

I have my own theories, theories that precipitated my returning to school to complete my education, but they are irrelevant right now.   Right now I think about how I felt sitting in that stupid salon getting my nails done.  I wanted so badly to go pull the girls out of school and hug them, or just go to the school to hug them.  I had pressing appointments.  I debated calling the school to see how they were handling the news with the kids and asking if I should come get the girls.  The drive to San Antonio and back was excruciating.  I didn’t like that distance between myself and the girls.  I am so glad now that I had that drive.

The drive gave me time to think.  I realized that had I been nearby and interfered with their school day I would have scared them much more than necessary, especially Barbara Ann.  She’s not much older than the majority of those victims.  I did however; give each girl a big hug as soon as I saw her.  This time, I really paid attention to their play tryouts, as though it was the most important thing in the world, because it was, at that moment.  This past semester I’ve spent so much time on homework, often feeling guilty for the time I spent on homework instead of with the girls.  I am so grateful I was able to give them each a great big hug. 

I didn’t want to let Barbara Ann go spend the night at her friend’s house, but I knew I had to.  If I’m scared, she’s going to be scared.  She needs to feel safe.

I remember the campaign, “Have You Hugged Your Kid Today?”  Like most campaigns, it was overused and became a source of humor.  “Have you hugged your (choose one of the following, horse, dog, cat, car, tree, fish…) today?”  I even have a little sign hanging by the picture of my horses on the wall, “Have You Hugged Your Horse Today?” but today I truly do have to ask the question.  Have you hugged your kid today?  If you did, remember to thank God, because there are so many parents out there today, for whatever reason, didn’t have that opportunity.

Windows 8 Upgrade? Hope it works!

So I bring my little flip screen laptop in to Office Max to see if they can do anything to get it running better.  After about an hour (at least) I leave with a copy of Windows 8 for the little bugger.  Why?  Well, if I had them go through the software and fix all the little issues, it would cost around $200.00.  If I bought Windows 8, I could do a clean boot, wipe all the old crap out and get the little devil running again, by myself.  It was on sale for 69.99.  It is also designed for a touch screen computer.  My little devil is a convertible, it goes both ways.  It is meant to be a computer or a tablet.  He He He, so, now I’ve rebooted it with windows, it’s past my bedtime but how I want to play.  I just found an app for Tetris.  I’m sooooo happy!  My most favoritest video game ever. :-D

I don’t know if it is Windows 8 or my computer getting all that crap off of the hard drive, but either way, the LittleDevil is running nice and smooth, better than when I got her.  So, short I know, but that’s my story for today.

Oh, by the way before I go, I learned an important lesson at Office Max today.  When you install or update anything, go with custom install and watch for those little check boxes where they sneak stuff into your computer that will bog it down bigtime.  Also, disable sleep and hibernate, these apparently where the things that nearly killed the little devil.

The semester is finally done.

          The semester is finally done.

          Yep, done.

          Finally.

So…

What now?

It came out pretty good, I maintained my 4.0 by the skin of my teeth, and I mean by the skin of my teeth.  I finally earned a 100 on a Dr. Mulry paper, I can die happy now.  Those are practically unheard of.  So, all in all, a good semester but it sure wore me out. 

So, back to the “now what?” question.  To start with, tonight I’m going to watch TV with my girls.  We got Dr. Zhivago from Netflix, it’s been sitting for weeks now, and we are going to start watching it tonight.  I was Barbara’s age or thereabouts when we watched it on TV in Louisiana.  I remember most clearly the scene when they came up to the house in a cutter sleigh, and then went in and found everything perfectly frozen over with ice.  One of my professors told me it had been filmed in Spain in July, that everything had been made with wax.  It looks like I’ll be looking for two different things as we watch, the scenes from my childhood and the evidence of summer filming.  I can hardly wait.

For the rest of the nearly month long Christmas break, I think I’ll start following the list I made last night.  There is one thing I need to add to that list, get this blog going again.

Open minded politicians finish last.

Something occurred to me today, I won’t drag you through the thought process that got me there though.  I was thinking about politicians.  This time of year, especially during a presidential election year, tends to bring the political activist out in all of us.  Well, either that, or at least gets us to thinking about politics and our part of the process.  OK, at least that’s what happens to me.

So, let’s get back on topic, shall we?  I have a professor who has apposing political ideas to my own.  Class gets to be great fun at times as the banter gets going.  Neither of us is mean about it, and mostly it is in good fun.  I find my ideologies regularly challenged which makes some of my convictions stronger and causes me to think on others.  This is a thinking class, and the professor’s goal is not to get everyone to follow his ideologies, but for the members of the class to critically examine their own and be confident in what they believe.  That’s been my experience with all my professors at Schreiner University.

Here is what I realized.  Bill Clinton wasn’t all that bad of a president.  He was notably “wishy washy” which was considered a fault.  I have to question if that is truly a fault.  Was he “wishy washy” or was he open-minded.  That is something to think about.  I don’t recall the knock down drag out bi-partisan politics of today.  You could be a moderate of either party, and not be a traitor for not following strict party lines.  If a politician truly believed in something, they would often stand up for it. 

I questioned, where had that ended?  In my lifetime, in my adulthood, I’ve seen a disturbing trend of intolerance in politics and political beliefs.  Then it occurred to me.  Let’s go back to the Reagan Bush era.  Reagan was a great orator.  The man could move a nation, he could move a world.  He was a logical thinker, and I remember a certain amount of give and take.  George H.W. Bush was not a great orator.  He had good qualities, but he made a grave mistake.  George H.W. Bush made the mistake of making a promise.

We know all politicians lie.  If you can find a politician who doesn’t, I’ll be expecting him to walk on water.  So, a broken promise should come as no great surprise.  Yet, somehow it did. 

George H.W. Bush promised to be close minded.  He promised that no matter what the circumstance, he would remain close minded and refuse to take anything into account.  His promise is famous, and oft quoted, “Read my lips, no new taxes!”  No doubt it sounded good at the time.

The problem was however; he made a promise that if he had kept, could have had far graver consequences than breaking that promise.  George H.W. Bush was up against a Democratic congress that could over-throw his veto.  He looked at the facts and realized he was going to have to negotiate.  Yes, that’s right; George H.W. Bush lied to us when he promised he would close his mind for good, and then broke that promise when he took the time to open his mind.  So, in a nutshell, George H.W. Bush threw away his re-election campaign when he promised to be closed minded, and later opened his mind to differing ideas and negotiated.

Today, coming up for re-election is a president who promised with all his heart, raised the hopes of the American people, and was elected because of his promise.  Barrack Hussein Obama was elected president of the United States because he promised that he would be open minded.  Just like George H.W. Bush broke his promise to be close minded, Barrack Hussein Obama broke his promise to be open minded. 

George H.W. Bush was defeated by Bill Clinton because he was open minded, and somehow we act surprised when our politicians have closed their minds and are walking lock step side by side with their party affiliates.  We sent the message loud and clear.  Open your mind and kiss your re-election goodbye.  What message are we going to send this election?  Think about it.

A few good books

You know how you sometimes have those days; they’re usually rainy days, in which you just want to go curl up on your bed with a good book?  I’m having one of those today.  It’s 11:30, and I’m finally getting my chance, well almost.  Actually, first I’m getting some writing in, but for me, sometimes that’s as good as a good book.  I just needed to get this off my chest first, since I’ve committed myself to blogging every day.  Then I will get to read. 

You know how it is when you just can’t wait to get your hands on that book?  The anticipation builds up as you get closer and closer to your goal.  I just ate a large Mc Donalds French fries and I have my large coke to make sure I get some reading in before I fall asleep.  I sit here typing, anticipating finally getting to crack my book open and finish at least part of the chapter.  It’s a great book!  It’s called The Theories of Personality.  Right now I’m working on the section about Albert Bandura.  I have a lot of reading to do on this guy’s theories; I have two major papers and a research project that will be hinging off of it.  I’d also like to get in a little of the biography of Joseph Conrad that I’m reading.  I doubt I’ll make it to In Search of Authority though, it’s late. 

Yes, they are text books; I still can hardly wait to read on.  I love reading my textbooks, they are fascinating.  I guess I really have become a complete and total college geek.  There is so much new stuff to learn, not to mention, some really great papers waiting to be written.  Guess I’m busted again.  I only want to read the books so that I can learn more and write about stuff.  I wanna do my research!

So, if you ever wonder what drives me, what I do for fun, just keep in mind that if I will get to write about it, I will be excited about it.  It’s the writer in me.  I’m getting half way decent at it, who knows, maybe one day it will put some food on the table.

Y’all have a great day now.

Happy Birthday to Me?

Today is my birthday, I’m 29 again.  My lovely daughter made me a cake, and it had two candles on it.  They said “29”.  How did I get so lucky to have such a wonderful daughter?

          The day had a rocky start, but all in all was good.  I did find out today that I will be losing 3/4 of my VA benefits for school in the spring.  I am so grateful that I was given a heads up so that I can start addressing the problem now.  It is a frustrating situation; money will be tighter than ever, unless I do something drastic.  OK, you got me; I’ve got a drastic plan.

          I’m a writer.  I should be writing.  I have more ideas bouncing around in my head than I know what to do with.  A couple of them are so simple; I need to do them before someone else comes up with the idea.  Maybe I will get published.  I will never know if I don’t try. 

          I had a horrible writer’s block on a paper.  Actually, it wasn’t so much a writer’s block as a motivation and time block.  I finally broke the barrier, and finished it.  After class today, I have a few revisions to make, but all in all, it is a decent paper.

          I’m researching a big one right now, one that may get me a trip to Rome.  I have my work cut out for me.  I have a proposal to get done by next Friday, a research project to get started on, and another one to finish.  I have so much writing to do; I just hope I can get it all done.  Oh and there’s the paper due next Thursday, and the presentation next month, and the other term paper I haven’t even started to research yet.  Oh yeah, and a mid-term next week as well.  You know what though, that overwhelmed out of my mind feeling is gone.  I made it over the Chaucer paper hurtle.  I’m on a roll now. I can’t think of a better birthday present for myself than that.

Baby Steps in the Write direction

I decided it is time to do what I had started this blog to do, become a contributor to”mamapedia ^tm the wisdom of moms^tm.”  As I pulled up the blog to get the URL, I felt that excitement that only comes from anticipation of what I know will be great success.  I start looking at my blogs so I can give an accurate description of what I blog on…

So, I guess I need to get some consistency on this blog thing if I expect to be able to contribute to anything.

Most people that know me are aware that I am a writer at heart.  Yesterday a fellow classmate mentioned something about a writing group to my English professor, and when I asked about it, he asked me if I did any writing.  My answer was great for the professor, lousy for me.  Yes, but lately I only have time to write for school or work.  I liked that last part, for work.  Yep, I’ve had some successful writing for work.

OK, back on track.

Currently, I have a paper due tomorrow that I’ve already asked for an extension on.  It has to be good.  My work this semester will determine whether or not I get to go to Rome next summer, otherwise it would be done by now.  No pressure.  Today I am supposed to turn in my thesis and at least two references for another paper.  I managed to combine this psychology paper with research for the Rome trip.  Yep, I’m smiling and nodding now, I just wished I had come up with this idea before the class period before the references are due.  I have a midterm next week, a quiz today I haven’t studied at all for, and another paper due next week.  Oh, and I have to get my topic (decided but not turned in yet) for the term paper in yet another class. 

So, yes, I’m busy, and … work isn’t giving me a whole lot of free time.  I have two jobs, one of which is just about two jobs in itself.  Actually, considering how I have to fill out my pay record, it is two different jobs, just for the same place.  OK, so since this has become somewhat of a whine session, I’m going to go ahead and finish out the fuss.  Now would be a good time to go get some cheese to go with the whine.

I just found out that I will lose most of my VA benefits for the spring semester, I was right about BA’s dad, he’s balking at the divorce because he doesn’t want to pay child support, and, I’m feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, and trying to sort things out.  Now would be a good time to let go and let God, right?

I have all these wonderful ideas running around in my head waiting to be put down to keyboard, or would that be computer, or word, or, well it isn’t paper.  I have the tools, some I need to become more proficient at (the getting published part), and now all I have to do is make time to make it happen.  This is step one; get the Blog rolling.  I have a lot of great things to say, well at least I think I do, and I need to get started somewhere.  So here I go with some baby-steps in the write (yes I did that on purpose) direction.

My New Obsession

O.K., so it isn't really a new obsession, it's one that keeps coming back, and what a great time for it.  According to MOVE, and MyFitnessPal.com I am right on the border line between overweight and obese.  Yes, I'm frustrated. 
By the way, MOVE is the VA's own personal weight loss program.  I had checked on MOVE in the past, but never got around to it.  I was asked again if I'd be interested and I jumped on it.  It's a bit past time.
MOVE is great, and so is this website MyFitnessPal.  MyFitnessPal was recommended to me by the nurse that did my intake for MOVE.
Anybody who knows me well realizes that moderation is not my strong suit.  A major reason I fail at dieting regularly.  So, both the programs are designed for continual life changes to be started out slowly and built upon.  MyFitnessPal (MFP) has this really great calorie counter thing.  I enter my food and activity in, and it tells me where I am at for caloric needs to lose 1.5 pounds per week.  It is so easy to navigate and actually makes sense to me.  I love it!  I was skeptical when the nurse recommended it and almost didn't visit the site.  I'm glad I did!
The MOVE program helps me with another issue.  Accountability.  I have to interact with this little computerized thing everyday.  Once a week I weigh in.  The information goes to my tele-nurse at the VA and if I need some added support, I can request a phone call or call her.  I have to do this everyday or I get kicked out of the program.  The diet isn't meant to be overwhelming or difficult, it is a matter of increasing activity and decreasing calories.
The timing issue... You'll never guess what topic we just hit on in my Abnormal Psychology class.  O.K., maybe you will.  If you guessed eating disorders, you are dead on. 
So, the question is, will my new obsession become a detriment or something positive.  I think something positive, because even though an obsession with food and losing weight are large eating disorder factors, this obsession like most will be going into the safest and healthiest way to meet a goal.  Let's just hope I can keep it up for the next 50 pounds.

Proof of my sanity or more appropriately lack of sanity

Proof of my sanity or more appropriately lack of sanity

            So, we all know that I am a sucker for anything furry.  OK, let me rephrase that, we all know that I am a sucker for anything furry on four legs that doesn’t want to eat me.  There, got that straight. 

            So, the story goes like this, I’m at work, and there’s this dog out on the road.  Black, about the size of Buster, I look at him, he looks at me.  I’m thinking about my latest conundrum, the fact that Buster has cancer and has up to six months to live.  I was happy with my small dog and not too worried about getting a new dog after Buster passed away until a friend pointed out what a good thing it is that we have a big dog.  That made the news of Buster’s illness more than just sadness for me; it also made it a problem.  I’m looking at this dog.  He looks lost, I thought about going to him but he had a collar and from where I was at I thought I saw tags.  The dog came my way…

Meet Max

          Max chose me, I chose him, God brought him to us and us to him.

          Needless to say, he could stand to have a few groceries and some TLC.  He is a sweetheart, never been trained, eager to please and smart.  He looks to be about a year old.  I’m sure we’ll get an exact age once he goes to the vet.  He needs not only a check-up shots and all that good stuff, but I also think he would probably benefit from a ballectomy as well. 

            Buster hates him, no big surprise there.  I am grateful and aware that God made him submissive for a reason.  I’m just glad that there is no top dog battle going on.  The little dogs are unimpressed either way.  Hopefully he will play with Daisy some, who knows, but he’s already stolen our hearts.

            How does this relate to my sanity, or lack thereof?  I need another dog in this house like a need a whole in my head.  I need another mouth to feed like I need another dog.  OK, this could go on and on.  Regardless, Max is here, and even though I need another dog like I need a hole in my head, the truth is we need Max and Max needs us.

This is what I saw when I first saw Max, that face, that kind and loving face.

Touching base

Yes, we are still alive and well.  It has been busy lately.  There have been school related bullying issues for Georgia, Barbara Ann as always keeps us hopping and two jobs keep me busy in between life and homework.
I have so many ideas to write about and so little time to write them.  Maybe during spring break.  I hope so.  To all, many blessings.
Laura

Of Thinking Creatively

Of thinking creatively

          I used to think I was creative.  I did all the artsy things that are considered creative, I love to draw, I played the musical instrument, I’d sew things, you know, basically all the things that we consider creative.  I was pretty good at these things as well, so I had always gotten a lot of feedback telling me how creative I was.

          Then one day, I started attending Schreiner University.  Schreiner is a Liberal Arts college and I am really grateful that I didn’t know that until after I started classes.  Yes, it is possible to go through all the motions of applying, getting accepted and then getting financial aid without realizing one is applying to a Liberal Arts University.  The joy of a liberal arts university comes from the fact that many of the classes are designed to make you think.  Right, the way my mind wonders around you would think I think a lot, but it wasn’t critically.  My favorite professors are the ones that challenge my beliefs.  I love it!  And when they are done, I either have a new belief or feel a sense of confirmation that my beliefs were correct all along.

          Okay, so what does any of that have to do with creativity you are probably wondering?  A lot actually, since this is where I learned what creativity is.  I had a class (it was required) called The Creative Experience.  You have to love a school that requires classes like the Creative Experience and Critical Thinking.  Especially today, when computers and video games inhibit so much creativity.  In this class I learned just how creative I wasn’t.  Sure, I could draw a picture and play an instrument, but even there I was either copying a picture or playing someone else’s music.

          I loved that class.  I kind of miss it, but not the intense amount of homework.  This class was where I realized how creative I wasn’t.  I was following patterns and copying what others have done.  Nothing was an original classic “Laura” any more.  Then one day in class, my brain started spinning (it does that a lot).  This time however was different.  My brain wasn’t spinning around dinner and school and work and all the typical things that over occupied my mind for so long; my brain was spinning around ideas. 

          That was when I realized that I was indeed very creative at one point in my life.  I remembered having all these brilliant ideas of how to create new things, build things with the materials at hand, how to design something new.  All of that had become suppressed to the point it had become repressed.  It took this class for me to dust the cobwebs out of the creative part of my brain and start using it again.

          Those nerve ending are still and little stiff and rusty today, but they are going back to work.  How do I know you may ask?  Barbara Ann’s horsie.

          You know how little kids have that one toy, they one that is worn out and falling to pieces, you know the one I’m talking about, the toy that if it were to disappear the world would end.  Georgia never really had one, but Barbara Ann does.  Barbara couldn’t choose something soft and cuddly like a stuffed animal or something made a little more durable like a Barbie doll.  No not my  precious Angel, she had to choose a stuffed horse the size of a big dog with a metal frame inside that she could ride.

          That poor horse, I’ve repaired her a few times, but nothing had held.  I had done the old patch the holes trick.  (Yes I know, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.  I’ve never claimed sanity though).  Anyway, back on topic, I looked at this horse with different eyes this time, went to work starting the surgery.  I of course was planning to patch her again, but with a little extra flare.  As I got into the surgery, that creative section of my brain started moving, shaking off some of the dust I had let settle on it since last semester.  Then it started to turn then spin beautifully and smoothly as my repairs started to take on a mind of their own.  There are no patches this time, but there are some major repairs.  Barbara Ann’s horse is hole free now with the fabric protected from the sharp metal frame that continuously rubbed holes in the poor horsie’s neck. 

          So what to do now?  I believe I am going to e-mail my professor and thank her.  It was through her class that I was able to find my inner creative genius, the one that had shrunk away and hid in the face of adversity. 

My inner Geek rules!

BA with The Actors From The London Stage

My inner geek is shining through!  That’s right; my inner geek is bursting through the seams and having a ball.  Tonight, Georgia and I will be going to the third showing of Shakespeare’s the Twelfth Night being performed at Schreiner University.  Yep, it’s exciting.   I can hardly wait!  This time it will be Georgia and I and my parents.  On Thursday when we went (which by the way was the 410^th anniversary of the first opening of the play) BA was with us.  She loved it!

          Believe me when I say it was a brilliant opportunity to get to attend such an event with a seven year old.  How often do you get to see a great comedy the likes of Twelfth Night performed by five Actors From the London Stage through the eyes of a little girl?  I know it is a once in a lifetime event for me.  It was made even better when Georgia and I were recognized by one of the actors.  She singled out Barbara Ann because she knew she was coming and made my little girl the center of the room for a few moments.  Barbara Ann even got to hug “Olive” from Ella Enchanted.  How many kids get to do that in their lifetimes?

          OK, so back to why I am so excited about tonight.  This time I get to see it for me without having to keep BA straight on the characters.  All of the actors played at least two different parts.  I’m still impressed by how much Barbara Ann enjoyed it; I guess I’m passing my inner geek on.

          So, we’re here getting ready, we leave in half an hour to go meet my parents for dinner before the show.  I know one very important thing I really realized this past week.  I really and truly don’t want to graduate.  I love Schreiner, it is such a great place to go to school.  God has truly blessed us.

         

We were on National TV

I couldn't decide whether or not to share this.  I'm not going to look at it again because I will probably change my mind.  He is the link to the video from The 700 club's operation blessing.

A Hand Up for a Vet

So now you can see it too, if you'd like.

Things are a lot better than they appear on the clip, now.

May The Good Lord Bless and Keep You All!

Laura

I Lost a Dear Friend Today

I lost a dear friend today.  I feel awful that I didn't try to find her sooner, I kept telling myself I would.  I finally sent a letter to her early last week in hopes that I'd hear back from her.  Her cousin was kind enough to include me in the e-mail to let me know of her passing.
We all go our separate way, it is a part of life.  I loved Mary, she was a powerful influence on my life and I am a better person for having known her.  I just wish I would have been able to tell her that myself.

Back in the saddle again

Classes start tomorrow for me, I have five this semester.  One doesn’t count as a class as far as I am concerned, but since I do get a credit, I guess it is.  I get to take private lessons this semester, hopefully on the viola.  If I can’t rent one, I guess violin lessons will do for now.  I am so ready to start.  Actually, I am ready to start all my classes.  I have begun reading for a couple of my classes, one I am putting off but it doesn’t start until Thursday.

I am determined to keep up with the required reading this semester.  I fell behind last semester, ended up scrambling for my grades and ended up with a B.  That means I didn’t make the President’s list and I am a bit bummed.  At least I did make the Dean’s list. 

I am one of those people who take anything less than a 100 personally.  If I don’t receive a 100, I start to worry about what I didn’t understand and whether or not it will affect the rest of the semester.  After I am able to see my mistakes, anything over a 94 is usually good for me.  Below a 94 is getting too close to a 90 which would mean it is almost a B.  Yes I know, I should be happy with a B.  I hear it all the time.   A B would be OK if I wasn’t capable of an A; I guess it goes back to the old labels I got as a kid. 

Growing up, I hated school.  I hated every part of it; I didn’t even care a whole lot for the social end of things.  OK, I admit, that is a bit of an exaggeration.   I did have classes that I loved, and a teacher I adored.  Yep, I had one of those teachers; I wish every student in the United States could have a teacher like Mr. Bateman for History.  He was so passionate about the subject, he passed that passion on to his students, and I think even the ones that thought they were too cool for that.  I loved history.  Thanks Mr. Bateman.

In high school, I was a barely passing, just getting by type of a kid.  If I liked a class or a teacher, I got an A.  If I didn’t like the class or the teacher, I would usually at least pass, most of the time.

So now, as a college student I am the opposite of what I was in high school.  College is different.  Now it is a like a job.  When I am at work, I don’t want to be average; I want to be the best or at least one of the best.  I had to score a 90% or higher in testing to become a certified instructor.  I have had many tests like that, and I guess that is probably part of the reason I see anything below a 90 as failing.  Another thing, I have yet to see anyone say “oh just give 85%” or “it’s OK as long as you put 70% effort into this, it’s still passing.”

So, yes, I set very high standards for myself in everything I do.  I chase the elusive 100%s on papers.  I intend to do that again, I’ve done it once before.  I was one of three people that particular professor had ever given a 100% to.  I keep that paper in a special place.

There is another reason I strive for that elusive 4.0 each semester.  I know me, I know me very well.   If I don’t set high goals, I will start putting things off.  If I start putting things off, they don’t get done.  When things don’t get done in college, you fail.  I have no intentions of failing. 

So yes, school is here for me, classes at Triple H are in full session now, the girls are in a play and Barbara Ann will be starting Jazz dance classes.  Georgia of course is still in band.  Life is good; we are busy which means I will continue to stay out of trouble.  Yes, God has blessed me with enough to do to keep my little ADHD mind busy.  

May The Good Lord Bless and Keep You Always,

Laura

Change is good

I think I’ve mentioned before that I am blessed.  No doubt about it, the girls and I have been blessed in many ways.  One of the many blessings I have is an office space.  It was built with the intention of being a dining room, but there is plenty of room in our kitchen for a table and chairs, so instead of being a dining room, I have an office. 

One of the really great things about my office is its location.  It is between the kitchen and the den.  The den is where the TV and fireplace are as well as where we hang out as a family.  The den is also where Barbara Ann keeps her toys.  The living room is Georgia’s area for all of her special things.  The living room is on the other side of the kitchen from my office.  There are shuttered windows into the den and kitchen, so even in the office I don’t feel isolated away from the girls. 

The office is my little haven, it’s where I go to study, think, read, write, and it’s like my own little home within my home.  I used to love how it was set up, but over the holidays we moved the rodents into my office to make room for the tree and I got claustrophobic.  It wasn’t my comfortable safe place anymore.  So what does a girl do when her personal space starts feeling wrong?  Duh…

First I rearranged my bookshelves.  It had gotten to where I couldn’t find anything.  Now it all makes sense.  With it being so easy to find things, it means it’s also easy to know where to put things away.  The simple project of rearranging the bookshelves didn’t stop there.  It wasn’t over once the rodents were moved either.  I tried to stop a couple of times then realized it wouldn’t work, I had to keep going and now it’s done.

I like it.  My office almost seems like an entirely different room and I didn’t even have to move my desk.  Now I feel just that much more ready to start classes on Wednesday.

Maybe it’s silly to need to completely rearrange a room to feel ready for classes, maybe it’s normal.  No matter where on the spectrum it fits, it was worth it.  The time and effort was well spent since now I can go in there and feel ready to work.

God has blessed us, there is no doubt.  There are so many little things and some big ones.  I truly hope you too feel your many blessings as well.

I LOVE MY JOB!!!

I think I have mentioned I love my job.  How many people get to see God every day they go to work?  It is never ending.  Just when I begin to think I’ve seen the greatest, something else happens.  It is absolutely amazing the incredible things I get to see.

An hour may not seem long for most of us, certainly not when we are doing something we enjoy, but it is a long time for many of my students.  Today one of my kids, the first time in the nearly two years that I have taught was focused for the entire time.  For a full hour, total co-operation.  That’s at least thirty minutes longer than usual.  What a great day!

Then my day just got better.  I had to get some preventive maintenance done on the car.  I got the car there later than I had planned, and the car wasn’t ready when it was time for me to go back for my last little class.  What is a person to do when they have no car to use?  Why, there is only one thing left to do.  Use real horse power.  That’s right; I got to ride my horse to work.  It was such a treat and Jade was really good.  It has been so long since I’ve been able to ride her much, she’s out of shape and just hasn’t had much done with her for over two years.  That didn’t stop Jade from being a great girl the whole trip there and back. 

I am so blessed, I can’t think of a better place to work.  I hope you all can say that each day that you go to work, if not, I hope you get to someday.

Of manipulation and negotiation

I work with kids three nights a week that are considered to be at risk.  I recently had a young lady ask “at risk of what?”  If anybody has a good answer for that one, I would love to hear it.  How do you tell a kid they are at risk of being an unproductive member of society?  Being the research junkie that I am, I see a headline or get an e-mail from one of many parenting e-rags that I get or any number of other shiny stories that attract my attention and I go tracking it down.  One article leads to another and by the time I’m done it’s at least an hour later.  I always learn something great from these articles and it has yet to be what an idiot the writer is. J

 I see these great article headlines that make me think about a topic from work or an idea to help the kids out.  Sometimes I see something that makes me think of my own girls.  Both girls have their own personal issues, Georgia had to grow up entirely too fast and it is a constant struggle to keep her from taking the weight of the world onto her shoulders.  Barbara Ann is convinced she doesn’t want to grow up, and is already a skilled negotiator and manipulator.

I read a couple of articles thinking I’m going to use the information to help some kid I work with and end up looking straight at myself and the girls.  Having just read one of these great mind blowing articles, I decided last night that it was time to incorporate one with my infamous countdown from five in an attempt to get Barbara Ann motivated.  The poor child was devastated.  Not only did I reach one before she could complete that “one more thing” she also had a consequence.  No desert.  The poor child was horrified.

I am very proud of Georgia at this point.  Georgia has gotten in trouble for deciding Barbara Ann should sleep in my bed or come see me etc. during one of these wailings fits.  So Georgia stayed silent, bless her heart for the nearly hour of wailing from the tortured soul.  I started to feel bad for Georgia and told Barbara Ann “that’s enough” but it didn’t help anything.  I started getting ready for bed, no change, and I was beginning to wonder if anyone was ‘going to sleep tonight.’  Then lights started going out, I did my nightly search for my cell phone, found it turned off the lights again, but it wasn’t until I heard the cat formerly referred to as a Tom Cat outside crying by my window to come in that anything changed.  When I went to the door to call him in, Barbara Ann was suddenly quiet.  The cat finally comes in and once the door is closed and locked the crying begins again, but not the sobbing wail of a few minutes before, but the whimpering cries of surrender.  The ever quieter cries slowed and diminished as little Barbara Ann finally realized that she couldn’t manipulate herself out of this one.  The house got quiet, I sat in my bed contemplating the silence, praying deep inside that I did the right thing and Barbara Ann will be a better adult for it.  Everything I’ve read has said she will, but that doesn’t make the thought that I ‘broke’ her go away. 

In the end, I know I did the right thing.  It is time for Barbara Ann to accept the consequences for her actions.  I know as soon as she goes to see her dad she won’t have to, but at least at home Barbara Ann will know exactly what can happen at the end of the countdown.

So now what?

O.K., so now that I've started this blog, what's next?  I know you are typically supposed to write something witty and fun every day.  Maybe I could get by with inspirational or educational.  I am a research junkie, so educational could be fun, but since everybody and their brother are experts today, I'll leave that kind of work for peer reviewed journals I think. 
For some reason today I was thinking about my faith.  It's been a long journey to reach the point I am at today.  That journey in itself could make a book that I'm sure at least somebody would like to read.  At least my great grand kids could read it one day and say "Oh yeah, that was the crazy one we heard all those weird stories about."  I wouldn't be surprised anyway.
I have decided that it is time to get back to work on some of the books I have written, get my revisions done and then find out what to do next.  I do have some really great English Professors at Schreiner University that could no doubt point me in the right direction.
I have heard that Blogs are supposed to have themes to them, I think.  I didn't think much about starting one until I looked into submitting some work to an on-line journal.  Gotta love the computer generation, to submit to this on-line journal I HAVE to have a blog.  So, in reality that was my motivation for starting this thing.  I do hope it does somebody some good some day, well besides me anyways.
May The Good Lord Bless and Keep You All,
Laura

I've started a blog, !Oh Boy!

Computers hate me, even the ones in vehicles, so I approach this endeavor with caution. 
Once I figure out exactly what I am doing, I hope to make this a place people want to go to learn, for inspiration and perhaps even healing. 
I am a writer, unpublished as of yet.  I would love to be able to share all of the valuable lessons I seem to be learning each day.
Today's valuable lesson is...
     Drum roll please...
OK, today's valuable lesson for me is setting up this blog.  It can be done.

God Bless You All and please look forward to posts that will be relevant to life, hopefully your lives as well as mine.