Have you hugged your kid today?

I was sitting in the nail salon getting my nails done; catching bits and pieces of some stupid soap opera playing on the T.V. they had hanging on the wall.  There was some woman that was being accused of arson, her kids were trying to get her the legal help she needed because she was bi-polar, and she was all better now that she was on her meds again. Soap operas, news shows, there isn’t a huge distinction between the two for me.  As far as I’m concerned they are both a sensationalisation of the baser parts of our society.  So, when the news interrupted the program, I didn’t catch it right away.

There was a mass shooting, or not.  I was confused.  The numbers didn’t make any sense.  How could the hospital have only seen two people and they’re claiming twenty something people dead?  It was bad, yes; it was in an elementary school. It didn’t matter how many where dead when the school was K-4.  It was a sensationalisation because it was at an elementary school, it had to be.  Then, the story started to unfold.  The shooter was between 18 and 20, then he was 26, then he was identified, next his brother and girlfriend were missing.  He had killed his mom at the school and his dad was dead at home.  Eight O’clock I catch CNN and FOX news with their respective spin jockeys leading the discussion.  The shooter was 20.  20 of the 28 killed were children.  The shooter’s dad and brother were brought in for questioning.  The Mother had been shot and killed in her home.  I heard the word Asperger’s.

One news show says all mass murderers are sociopaths and should not be walking the streets ever, the other calls for gun control from one expert and an end to the failure of our mental health system from the other.  Earlier on Facebook the petty politics were kicking in and people were calling our president a fake with fake tears, others were devastated that anyone would give a crap about the politics at a time like this, especially name calling.  I was delighted to see both news channels state the true and obvious fact that our president, like every other American parent is bewildered, wondering how such a thing could happen. 

This isn’t the first school shooting in America.  It isn’t the first mass shooting.  When people were chewing on the facts of the Joker shooting in Colorado, people were horrified to hear children had been at the theater at such a time, as though it was the parent’s fault their children had been at risk.  That was because this isn’t supposed to happen to young children.  This was a way to pretend there isn’t anybody so sick as to randomly attack children.  The high school and university shootings, someone had felt shunned, blocked out, and or picked on.  Those shootings could at least be explained as retaliatory.  Jared Loughner’s history of creeping people out was immediately presented and the children hurt or killed were collateral damage, he wasn’t going after them.  That makes more sense.  No one is going to go specifically after children.  That would be sick.

As a nation today, we are struggling to understand why such a thing could happen.  What was this guy’s motive?  How could he do this to children, their parents, grandparents, siblings, classmates, neighbors, the nation…  What could cause such a senseless slaughter?

I have my own theories, theories that precipitated my returning to school to complete my education, but they are irrelevant right now.   Right now I think about how I felt sitting in that stupid salon getting my nails done.  I wanted so badly to go pull the girls out of school and hug them, or just go to the school to hug them.  I had pressing appointments.  I debated calling the school to see how they were handling the news with the kids and asking if I should come get the girls.  The drive to San Antonio and back was excruciating.  I didn’t like that distance between myself and the girls.  I am so glad now that I had that drive.

The drive gave me time to think.  I realized that had I been nearby and interfered with their school day I would have scared them much more than necessary, especially Barbara Ann.  She’s not much older than the majority of those victims.  I did however; give each girl a big hug as soon as I saw her.  This time, I really paid attention to their play tryouts, as though it was the most important thing in the world, because it was, at that moment.  This past semester I’ve spent so much time on homework, often feeling guilty for the time I spent on homework instead of with the girls.  I am so grateful I was able to give them each a great big hug. 

I didn’t want to let Barbara Ann go spend the night at her friend’s house, but I knew I had to.  If I’m scared, she’s going to be scared.  She needs to feel safe.

I remember the campaign, “Have You Hugged Your Kid Today?”  Like most campaigns, it was overused and became a source of humor.  “Have you hugged your (choose one of the following, horse, dog, cat, car, tree, fish…) today?”  I even have a little sign hanging by the picture of my horses on the wall, “Have You Hugged Your Horse Today?” but today I truly do have to ask the question.  Have you hugged your kid today?  If you did, remember to thank God, because there are so many parents out there today, for whatever reason, didn’t have that opportunity.